Art by Emma Block
Last night, I was on my laptop doing some writing, something I typically prefer doing in silence. I decided however that I was in the mood for some music. Indie? Nah. Pop? Nope. Jazz?
I used to listen to jazz a lot. I’d keep my speaker next to my bed, and turn it on first thing in the morning. Something about it made me feel like I was in a movie from the 60s, and I was playing Donna; the 30-something-year-old writer living in New York City, who likes smoking cigars and wearing black dresses.
Okay, I totally just made that up, but that’s the feeling I get from jazz. Anyway, enough about my alter-egos.
Back to last night.
I was listening to some Stan Getz and some Frank Sinatra, and I got immersed in my writing. It was quite enjoyable. It got me thinking, “what are some other things that I used to do and enjoy, but that I no longer do?” And so, I made a list of old flames that I’d like to re-kindle.
Here’s that list.
I. Listen to jazz in the morning (and perhaps throughout the day, but especially in the morning). I’ve now dusted off my speaker and I’ve brought Donna back to life. In fact, I’m her right now, as “Autumn leaves” by Chet Baker, the American jazz trumpeter and vocalist, is playing in the background.
II. Move my desk closer to the window. My desk is currently facing a wall, because my small apartment doesn’t allow for very many options. But it has started to feel too constricted. I’m planning on rearranging a bit.
Quite a bit of information can be found around the topic of what the best position for your work desk is to maximise productivity. For example, according to Feng Shui, the desk should be placed so that we can see the entrance. Personally, I like my desk to be placed whichever way I’m close to a window.
III. Draw. I used to draw quite a bit. I still have a whole box of pens and brushes hidden away that I haven’t opened in years. I think it’s time to bring that box down and get creative. I’d like to see where my mind takes me.
IV. Dress nicer. Did you know that fashion used to be a big passion of mine? Probably not. But then I started to feel like spending money on clothes was a waste; a waste of money, a waste of… waste. Unnecessary for the planet. The enjoyment of shopping was replaced with guilt.
I need to remind myself that it’s okay to do things that I find enjoyable, even if they’re “unnecessary”. I also need to remind myself that dressing nicely absolutely isn’t in fact unnecessary. When I feel good in what I’m wearing, I feel better overall, and I’m done depriving myself of that.
This Monday morning, I invite you to think about the following: What are some old flames in your life that you’d like to re-kindle?
/Lana
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First of all, thank you for making me get out of my rutine with your sweet words.
Second, I used to:
-Write A LOT: Recently I have stopped, but I would love to keep that going.
-Dance: I don´t really know how to do it "properly", but I really like feeling free or transporting to 60's like you.
It seems wrong to me stop doing this actions that made me so happy, a part of me wants to conservate those moments and thinks I have changed and I won´t like them. Either way I will try it out, I promise!
I want my artistic self to grow up bigger, until I can't get back.
PD. My alter ego's name is Sam, a 20 year old girl who doesn't care about people, have awesome artistic skills, but never shows it to anybody (it's to personal to make public) and She is in love with herself and a kind man who believes in her. She is liberal and freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I don't know if my obsession with freedom is healthy, but I swear I'm not in jail :)
Lana, you are in my head. I was thinking about some of the things I use to enjoy doing, recently as well. Two things come to mind for me: 1) reading more fictional books, I've been focused on self-help/personal development books lately but I miss simply getting lost in a fantasy book or paranormal romance. 2) Drawing, I use to do this so much as a child. As an adult, I do it in spurts and I really want to get back to it. The problem is that I don't know what to draw half the time and my schedule is so packed Idk when I'd get the time. But those are just excuses, I suppose if I really wanted to I could find the time.
PS: My desk also faces a wall right now because I live in a small studio apartment with my partner and that's the only space that works at the moment. But I suppose if I put my mind to it I can rearrange. I'd love to face my window as well and get the sunlight.