Friends and benefits
Everything else is secondary
Art by Pascal Campion
When we think about what brings us fulfilment (or where we hope to find it) a few things may come to mind, such as our career, hobbies and creative endeavours. And while all of those things can and do bring fulfilment to people, they’re secondary to our relationships.Â
Healthy relationships keep us happy and healthy. This isn’t just an opinion, there’s been various studies pointing to what I’m saying. Check out the Grant and Glueck study.Â
It’s easy to get caught up in work and other things that take up big chunks of our time (and thoughts). And while those things are important (making a living for yourself should definitely be a priority) we must create space for the people in our lives.Â
This Monday morning, I invite you to ask yourself:
How much time are you spending building healthy relationships, and nurturing the ones you have? Are you making it a priority, or are you too busy being busy? Are you undervaluing the importance that healthy relationships have on your happiness and health?
/Lana
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Valuable insight. It does seem that relationships are the cornerstone of our emotional wellbeing.
I have a very strong relationship with my partner and a few family member but outside of that I do lack a close friend group. I used to have it when I was younger but I have drifted from my friends and found it more difficult to recreate the close friendships that are created by school or a similar situation were you encounter friends daily. I do think that I would feel more fulfilled if I had a close group of friends.
Acknowledging this I will make a deliberate effort to try and be open to creating new friendships. I'm not entirely sure where you meet these friends as you get older, but I'll try for sure.
I always enjoy your content Lana. It always provokes some sort of thinking of my own. Keep up the good work.
Hi Lana, thank you for landing this is my system. This is a timely reminder for me to deepen my practice for connections with others. Over the last 1.5 years, I dove deep into self-growth work and shifted so many perceptions about myself and the world and what really mattered and in that process, I unconsciously created a fortress-like vortex around me which left me feeling extremely alone and isolated. I had reinvented myself and left so much of who I was behind that I began struggling with my existence and identity. I was not able to fully embody who I am and still holding on to who I thought I had to be. In many ways, I was and still am afraid of showing up as the person I've stepped into in front of my friends and inevitably distancing myself from them.
The story I was telling myself was "I have no friends." but a huge part of me knows that is untrue and you have inspired me to work on rewriting that narrative and making it my priority to reconnect with my friends and trusting that they are supportive of my journey and I can be myself around them. Grateful for your light.