Valuable insight. It does seem that relationships are the cornerstone of our emotional wellbeing.
I have a very strong relationship with my partner and a few family member but outside of that I do lack a close friend group. I used to have it when I was younger but I have drifted from my friends and found it more difficult to recreate the close friendships that are created by school or a similar situation were you encounter friends daily. I do think that I would feel more fulfilled if I had a close group of friends.
Acknowledging this I will make a deliberate effort to try and be open to creating new friendships. I'm not entirely sure where you meet these friends as you get older, but I'll try for sure.
I always enjoy your content Lana. It always provokes some sort of thinking of my own. Keep up the good work.
Hi Lana, thank you for landing this is my system. This is a timely reminder for me to deepen my practice for connections with others. Over the last 1.5 years, I dove deep into self-growth work and shifted so many perceptions about myself and the world and what really mattered and in that process, I unconsciously created a fortress-like vortex around me which left me feeling extremely alone and isolated. I had reinvented myself and left so much of who I was behind that I began struggling with my existence and identity. I was not able to fully embody who I am and still holding on to who I thought I had to be. In many ways, I was and still am afraid of showing up as the person I've stepped into in front of my friends and inevitably distancing myself from them.
The story I was telling myself was "I have no friends." but a huge part of me knows that is untrue and you have inspired me to work on rewriting that narrative and making it my priority to reconnect with my friends and trusting that they are supportive of my journey and I can be myself around them. Grateful for your light.
I agree, but I feel like during lockdown it's been hard to nurture relationships with friends. I don't know about the rest of the world but here in Melbourne, Australia, we're still in a severe lockdown. Obviously we can still communicate online but I feel like as the days go by it just feels like there is nothing to talk about because we haven't done anything interesting. I also feel like I'm slowly losing the little social skills I had pre-lockdown and whenever I've video-called a friend, it has been kinda awkward. I don't know, I've also never really been a "hi, how are you?" person when texting because the answer's always been "I'm fine, how are you?" and then I reply "I'm also fine" and that's the conversation XD. This has especially been the case during lockdown, and I can't blame them because what else is there to say? We're all feeling the same: Empty, jaded and cynical, just waiting for life to feel like life again. Love Ro, keep it up Lana <3
Yes, I feel the same too! I'm in Vietnam and we're still in the lockdown period. It's just hard to connect and have normal lively communication when you and your loved ones are just staying at home all the time. It just feels blank and empty.
Hi Lana, here I am just answering the questions you made and leaving a question of mine afterwards.
I actually spend a lot of time building healthy relationships, I do not know if you still are a minimalist but I am. I think that I am getting pretty good at decluttering relationships. The ones I keep are the ones I've always had, and the new ones almost never last, I don't know why.
For me it is a priority to nurture the allies I have as friends. Sometimes they don't do the same with me tho... it feels kinda sad, but I know that in their way they think of me has I think of them, they're just to busy being busy as you said some people are.
I think being at our best in career, hobbies and creative works leads to better relationships. Like inspired by your great works I wanted to be your friend always. Thanks for this Ro today.
I’m in a relationship with someone, and this reminder is so timely, because I get too busy and too occupied in building my career and it costs my relationship, I am thankful for having an understanding partner and I know I also have to do something good in return to make our relationship in balance and both parties can feel loved, and valued. Thank you Lana! ❤️
What a lovely reminder to take care of our relationships! For quite some time now, that's my number 1 priority and I've never felt more fulfilled before 🙏
I am currently not in a relationship with someone but I have friends. I always put my friends on my highest priority list, like even if I'm busy at work or I need to do something, if they need me I'll always go and help them. I don't know but for me the people around us keeps us alive and we can't live a life alone.
This was beautiful but on a more personal note, i used to put alot of effort into relationships without getting the same energy back so id definitely say only invest your time and energy in those people who are willing to invest on you too :)
I think this is just as true, if not moreso, for introverts. This may seem counterintuitive to some, who might think, “Oh, they get by just fine on their own.” And there’s an aspect of that: introverts need solitude in order to process their thoughts, experiences, and interactions with others. But if anything, I think introverts require even more in the way of deep connections with others—quality over quantity, if you will. I often think of my social circle in terms of electrons in an atom. Each orbit of electrons around a nucleus has a maximum capacity, and the closer you get to the nucleus, the fewer the electrons that can be held in that particular orbit. If a new one comes in, another one has to make way by dropping down a level. And since introverts have a very limited capacity for carrying around electrons, the ones they do keep around them have got to be really...good (this analogy breaks down somewhere right around here; it’s fine).
So yeah, relationships are really important. And I try to make time for and build meaning into mine by incorporating mutually valuable activities when possible. In some cases this can be as simple as, say, having a running buddy or playing racquetball with another friend once a week. And with others, it can be far more fluid and organic. Now, this can be trickier with friends who live elsewhere (most of my friends are scattered around the world), but it’s hardly impossible. So I’ve got a close friend in Israel, for instance, and we’ve started drawing up six-month plans for our own lives and sharing them with each other. It holds us each accountable, gives us something to chat about and consult over, and allows us to share our lives with each other in a meaningful and constructive way. We grow together and share our experiences and lessons learned. There’s an aspect of support and encouragement as well and it brings us closer to one another.
This is just an example, of course, but I guess I just wanted to illustrate how I’ve tried to avoid the relationship-life dichotomy in my own life. Rather than existing in tension with one another, I’ve found the right balance between the two can be mutually enriching.
Valuable insight. It does seem that relationships are the cornerstone of our emotional wellbeing.
I have a very strong relationship with my partner and a few family member but outside of that I do lack a close friend group. I used to have it when I was younger but I have drifted from my friends and found it more difficult to recreate the close friendships that are created by school or a similar situation were you encounter friends daily. I do think that I would feel more fulfilled if I had a close group of friends.
Acknowledging this I will make a deliberate effort to try and be open to creating new friendships. I'm not entirely sure where you meet these friends as you get older, but I'll try for sure.
I always enjoy your content Lana. It always provokes some sort of thinking of my own. Keep up the good work.
Hi Lana, thank you for landing this is my system. This is a timely reminder for me to deepen my practice for connections with others. Over the last 1.5 years, I dove deep into self-growth work and shifted so many perceptions about myself and the world and what really mattered and in that process, I unconsciously created a fortress-like vortex around me which left me feeling extremely alone and isolated. I had reinvented myself and left so much of who I was behind that I began struggling with my existence and identity. I was not able to fully embody who I am and still holding on to who I thought I had to be. In many ways, I was and still am afraid of showing up as the person I've stepped into in front of my friends and inevitably distancing myself from them.
The story I was telling myself was "I have no friends." but a huge part of me knows that is untrue and you have inspired me to work on rewriting that narrative and making it my priority to reconnect with my friends and trusting that they are supportive of my journey and I can be myself around them. Grateful for your light.
I agree, but I feel like during lockdown it's been hard to nurture relationships with friends. I don't know about the rest of the world but here in Melbourne, Australia, we're still in a severe lockdown. Obviously we can still communicate online but I feel like as the days go by it just feels like there is nothing to talk about because we haven't done anything interesting. I also feel like I'm slowly losing the little social skills I had pre-lockdown and whenever I've video-called a friend, it has been kinda awkward. I don't know, I've also never really been a "hi, how are you?" person when texting because the answer's always been "I'm fine, how are you?" and then I reply "I'm also fine" and that's the conversation XD. This has especially been the case during lockdown, and I can't blame them because what else is there to say? We're all feeling the same: Empty, jaded and cynical, just waiting for life to feel like life again. Love Ro, keep it up Lana <3
Yes, I feel the same too! I'm in Vietnam and we're still in the lockdown period. It's just hard to connect and have normal lively communication when you and your loved ones are just staying at home all the time. It just feels blank and empty.
Hi Lana, here I am just answering the questions you made and leaving a question of mine afterwards.
I actually spend a lot of time building healthy relationships, I do not know if you still are a minimalist but I am. I think that I am getting pretty good at decluttering relationships. The ones I keep are the ones I've always had, and the new ones almost never last, I don't know why.
For me it is a priority to nurture the allies I have as friends. Sometimes they don't do the same with me tho... it feels kinda sad, but I know that in their way they think of me has I think of them, they're just to busy being busy as you said some people are.
Any advice with that?
But I have to build the thing!! 😵 So true tho whats success without someone to celebrate it with 🥳
I think being at our best in career, hobbies and creative works leads to better relationships. Like inspired by your great works I wanted to be your friend always. Thanks for this Ro today.
Lovely work lana 😊
I’m in a relationship with someone, and this reminder is so timely, because I get too busy and too occupied in building my career and it costs my relationship, I am thankful for having an understanding partner and I know I also have to do something good in return to make our relationship in balance and both parties can feel loved, and valued. Thank you Lana! ❤️
Great writing it’s very true you need healthy relationships to manage satisfaction!
What a lovely reminder to take care of our relationships! For quite some time now, that's my number 1 priority and I've never felt more fulfilled before 🙏
from last year and the beginning of this year, i nurtured the wrong ones. Now I'm being careful on who to choose
I am currently not in a relationship with someone but I have friends. I always put my friends on my highest priority list, like even if I'm busy at work or I need to do something, if they need me I'll always go and help them. I don't know but for me the people around us keeps us alive and we can't live a life alone.
This was beautiful but on a more personal note, i used to put alot of effort into relationships without getting the same energy back so id definitely say only invest your time and energy in those people who are willing to invest on you too :)
This was lovely. Sending you infinite love and compassion. Thank-you for existing and being you.
Love you, Lana.
I think this is just as true, if not moreso, for introverts. This may seem counterintuitive to some, who might think, “Oh, they get by just fine on their own.” And there’s an aspect of that: introverts need solitude in order to process their thoughts, experiences, and interactions with others. But if anything, I think introverts require even more in the way of deep connections with others—quality over quantity, if you will. I often think of my social circle in terms of electrons in an atom. Each orbit of electrons around a nucleus has a maximum capacity, and the closer you get to the nucleus, the fewer the electrons that can be held in that particular orbit. If a new one comes in, another one has to make way by dropping down a level. And since introverts have a very limited capacity for carrying around electrons, the ones they do keep around them have got to be really...good (this analogy breaks down somewhere right around here; it’s fine).
So yeah, relationships are really important. And I try to make time for and build meaning into mine by incorporating mutually valuable activities when possible. In some cases this can be as simple as, say, having a running buddy or playing racquetball with another friend once a week. And with others, it can be far more fluid and organic. Now, this can be trickier with friends who live elsewhere (most of my friends are scattered around the world), but it’s hardly impossible. So I’ve got a close friend in Israel, for instance, and we’ve started drawing up six-month plans for our own lives and sharing them with each other. It holds us each accountable, gives us something to chat about and consult over, and allows us to share our lives with each other in a meaningful and constructive way. We grow together and share our experiences and lessons learned. There’s an aspect of support and encouragement as well and it brings us closer to one another.
This is just an example, of course, but I guess I just wanted to illustrate how I’ve tried to avoid the relationship-life dichotomy in my own life. Rather than existing in tension with one another, I’ve found the right balance between the two can be mutually enriching.